It’s not your fault
Totally depending on the “type of rape” that occured, sometimes it is very hard for the victim to believe, really believe, that it is not somehow partly their fault. Typically victims believe they are responsible for some aspect leading up to the rape. They feel something they did or did not do, led to the rape. When this happens they almost always beat themselves up with coulda, shoulda, woulda. I CAN NOT SAY THIS ENOUGH, there is NO REASON OR NOTHING YOU’VE SAID OR DONE THAT EXCUSES OR JUSTIFIES RAPE! No one action determines you’ve crossed the line and asked for it. The first step to recovery is ACCEPTING THAT IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, IN ANY WAY! I tell the victims I counsel who come from all walks of life, “I don’t care what you were doing, where you were at, if you had anything to drink, if you took any drugs, even if it went to the extreme of feeling comfortable enough to get naked with the assaulter and thought you wanted to have sex, the minute you decide to refuse and they don’t listen, it is rape without justification!” It is NOT YOUR FAULT and it is your right to choose not to have sex. When someone crosses that line without your willingness they violated you, YOU DID NOT ASK FOR IT OR DESERVE IT!